Making the decision to have a child is momentous… it is to decide forever to have your heart walking around outside your body.

Wednesday 2 May 2007

Survival

I know I haven't written in a while. I guess I have just been too busy with 'survival'. It is a constant thing on my mind - where my next meal will come from to ease the nausea. Then in the evenings when it subsides I have no energy to do very much except watch TV and sleep early, knowing full well that the next round of morning sickness is not too far away.

Last night as my husband sat stroking my hairy legs (do you really think I can be bothered shaving now) he casually asked 'so, do you moisturise anymore?' because my legs are so dry they are almost growing scales! Although he didn't mean any offence, it was not the best thing to say to a hormonal pregnant woman.

I went to bed thinking about all that had changed in the last couple of months; I no longer can be bothered to put on make-up (ditto for shaving, moisturising, exfoliating etc.), I only wash my hair when I have to, I eat all hours of the day (I even ate hot chips as a 'snack' the other day without a second thought), I no longer visit the gym, I can not be bothered at work.

The last one is really getting me down actually. It wouldn't be so bad if work was just work, but work is a career to me. I spent 4 years at university and then another 3 years completing my post-graduate part time while working, I am in fact currently undertaking a further advanced taxation law course. However, lately, I just don't seem to care about work at all.

I am not sure if it is because I know I am leaving at the end of this year and that any work I do now will be redundant because who will remember next year what kind of work I was doing early this year. Or maybe it is the morning sickness and hormones, I mean it is not easy to work feeling this ill, but most pregnant people manage it. Maybe it is just both.

Anyway, this was a really whinging post, I didn't mean it to be. I am actually writing because I suddenly had the realisation of all of this today and am going to change it all tonight. Tonight, i am locking myself in the bathroom until I look super-model-ish!!

2 comments:

Emmakirst said...

Awww, so sorry you are still sick, I hope that the nausea lets up soon!

Brenda said...

It really is hard work being pg! So don't be to hard on yourself.
You will get to a stage where you wont be able to shave your legs even if you want to. Thats when i started getting my legs waxed. Sitting on the shower floor with leg on wall and unable to breath is just not good. And then you cant get up! lol

As for work, well I don't work so I was luck to be able to sit at home and sleep when I wanted to. i think that played a big part in not vomiting all the time.
I use to get up in the morning and by 10 am i would go back to bed and sleep till 1 pm! It was heaven. And this is coming from a women who use to sleep 5 hours a night, and not all in one go! So I understand you must be really stuffed.

Maybe see if you can take a week or two off to just have a really good rest. Trust me in the next trimester you will feel 100% better.

Hugs
xxx