Making the decision to have a child is momentous… it is to decide forever to have your heart walking around outside your body.

Thursday 28 June 2007

Cry-baby!

Last night I went to see a movie (Knocked-Up) and found myself crying at the end – it is a romantic comedy! Other things I have found myself crying over lately include magazine articles and newspaper editorials.

Am I seriously going to be the crying pregnant chick for the next 5 months?!


16 weeks 3 days

Monday 25 June 2007

Bloody pregnancy

I only just got into work now because I have had a horrible blood nose all morning – at one point I wondered if it is possible to bleed to death from a blood nose! I hear that blood noses are a normal pregnancy thing because of having so much extra blood and estrogens. It still sucks though, I have never had one before and it is horrible.

I kept having to change tissues every 30 seconds or so because I would fill them up so quickly. And now I can’t stop smelling blood but I am too scared to blow my nose.

I had to stay home until 9.00 and then it was down to a trickle (after well over an hour of steady blood flow) and then looked like a diseased leaper on the tram because I was holding a bloodied tissue to my nose for the whole trip!

Anyway… the joys!

16 weeks today!

Friday 22 June 2007

Our first purchases

I am very excited. My lounge room sort of looks like a baby department store at the moment. We didn’t really intend on buying a lot early on in the pregnancy, I wanted to take my time and shop around to try to find the best for our baby and the best value for our wallets. However, we happened to stumble across a catalogue advertising a cot that we liked for 50% off. How could we refuse I ask you?

So I called the store last week and got it put on hold and then we attempted to go after work and pick it up. This all worked well up to the point that we paid for the cot (and mattress) and then tried to put in into the car. These lovely young boys from the store, along with my husband, tried very, very hard to get the flat packed cot into our (standard sized) car to no avail.

Luckily my father-in-law had as a big 4-wheel drive and was able to help out over the weekend by driving over and being our delivery service. The best part was seeing his face when he saw the cot. He knew what it was he was coming over to help us with, but still I think it hit him that he is going to be a grandpa when he saw the cot (box).

Then, early this week, my husband called me during work hours and it didn’t sound like he was in his office. He wouldn’t initially tell me where he was, but eventually fessed-up that he had taken a break from his desk to visit ‘Baby Bunting’. Too cute!

Anyway, he had seen a pram in one of my pregnancy magazines and I think he fell in love with it. So of course when he saw that the store had an offer that if you buy the pram, you get the baby bassinet attachment free, he naturally couldn’t resit.

So now my ‘just right for two’ sized apartment is filled with boxes of baby goods. I know we will have to find space for then eventually (well in the next 5 months) anyway, but I thought I might be able to have an uncluttered home space for a while longer.

Still it is so cute to look at all the baby goods!


15 weeks 5 days

Tuesday 19 June 2007

Could it possibly be?

The last few days every time I have sneezed (fairly regularly given the cold, cold weather around here) I have felt a small flutter in my belly. At first I thought there was no way it could be my baby, that I must just be imagining it, but it is getting stronger day by day...

Is week 16 too soon to feel it?

I wish I knew what to expect with the baby moving. Everyone seems to describe it differently.

Oh well, if it is, then it is amazing and magic to think that my baby is moving inside me. If it is not, I am sure it will happen soon enough and then it will be amazing and magical!

It took me no time at all to realise and accept that I was pregnant.

It took me a little while longer to realise that that meant I was going to have a baby.

Now I am just waiting for it to sink in that the baby I am having is inside me. I think when I know I can feel its movements, that will be when I really put all of the peices together.

15 weeks 1 day

Friday 15 June 2007

The joys...

I really, really mean it...

I want you to go and leave me.

I need you to leave me.

I will feel peace at releasing you.

You have caused me so much pain already.

If only I could fart.

This is my ode to one of the many joys of pregnancy: flatulence.

Thursday 14 June 2007

9 month panic attack

(title stolen from article on 'the opposite of knocked-up' blog)

I had quite a major freak out yesterday. I have been feeling unwell (not unlike morning sickness - but that 'stopped' a few weeks ago) for the last few days and woke up to get breakfast yesterday and had only just made it to the kitchen before I was doubled over in pain.

I sometimes get pain when I need to use the bathroom, and since I have been so 'blocked up' lately I assumed I just needed to have a 'number 2'. So I proceeded to the bathroom where the pain continued and I stared thinking about all the horrible things that could be causing the pain. Of course my biggest concern was Pudding's well being.

Bring on the panic attack!

I am not a stranger to being called 'highly strung', 'type A personality, etc, etc. I am also easily talked into physical symptoms I read about (I have even convinced myself that I was having a heart attack after the new 'how to know when you are having a heart attack' commercials were first released - how's that for highly strung hypochondriac behaviour?!)

So sitting there on the loo, stressing over my baby and I started to get all hot and had to tear my clothing off straight away, I started to get dizzy and my hearing started dimming (this happens right before I faint normally). I was a sight for sore eyes by the time my husband arose from his peaceful slumber to attend to my calls for help. 'Honey, I think I am very unwell'

Anyway, by the time my husband calmed me down and I managed to use the bathroom (in front of him for the first time after 5 years of living together! Yuck!), the pain started to subside, as did my panic attack.

So all of that fuss over a bowel movement!

I did ofcourse take the day of work, which wasn't entirely through laziness - the pain took a while to go away entirely and I thought it best to see my doctor (despite it being a 40 minute drive each way).

Of course I knew the doctor couldn't do anything for me, she had a feel around and said not to worry - offered me a referral for ultrasound if I really wanted it (which I really did want but felt a bit silly going for another one) and I insisted she take my blood pressure since I'd made the big trek out there (which is a little silly as my blood pressure is normally 'low' and throughout pregnancy has only risen to 'normal').

Hense the title, I think this 9 months will end up being my longest panic attack to date!

14weeks 3 days

Thursday 7 June 2007

Buddha belly

It seems sometime this week my belly has grown. All of a sudden, people have started feeling like they have permission to rub my belly, as though it is not a part of me, merely where my baby is living.

I don’t really mind. It might be different when I get bigger and strangers feel the need, but the ladies at work just mean to make a fuss of ‘us’.

This coincides with another event, I purchased my first maternity top! My normal tops are starting to get a little short at the bottom and my boobs are busting out of my b-cup designed tops. I did want to hold off a little longer than this, week 14 sounds quite early to buy new clothes, but I needed something to wear out last night, so thought I’d treat myself.

Friday 1 June 2007

Exam anxiety

I have just settled back into work after a 5 day ‘study break’. This was a totally different study break than any other I have had. In my last post graduate degree I was ‘a machine’; I’d be up at the crack of dawn ready to absorb as much of the law as I could before finally retiring to bed 18 hours later.

Before falling pregnant (and having no idea how long it would take to get that way) I decided, or was coerced into undertaking a further post graduate degree. It is only now that I realise how senseless it was. The law is demanding at the best of times but when I have to deal with it all day and then go home to study it on weekends while trying to fit in naps and bathroom visits, it is outright tiring!

So I had an exam on Tuesday, I spent the 5 days leading up to it in a mix of reading legislation, reading baby books, napping and watching Oprah. This is not my usual study routine…

To top it off, the morning of the exam I left home with an hour to spare and when I was nearly at the exam venue has a sudden realisation ‘I won't be able to last 3 hours without eating – I’ll just pop in to McDonalds for lunch first.’ Again, not my normal exam preparation (let alone eating habits!)…

When it was about half an hour until the start of the exam, I was sitting serenely eating my Big Mac, when I realised I would be late if I didn’t leave then. So I rushed back to the car, zoomed up 20+ levels of parking until finally finding a rooftop one, sprinted through the convention centre (ok, my idea of ‘sprinting’ is quite different now since pregnancy and bear in mind I was carrying piles of books and legislation) and finally made it to my exam with 5 minutes to use the bathroom (what else) before it started.

So, not my ordinary exam venue, pre-reading exercise…

But the good news is that I think the adrenaline from the ‘I’m going to be late’ panic meant that I attacked my exam with vigour that I haven’t experienced since becoming pregnant. I finished it all with a few minutes to spare to read over it, and then returned home to collapse, exhausted into a heap on my couch.