Left work early on Friday to have our first ultrasound. I was so nervous. I kept dreaming through the week that there were problems with our baby and other times I would dream that there were actually two babies, then again that there four!
So after a lot of stress I am pleased to say that there is one little baby in me and it is growing inside a yolk sac in the correct position and measures 6 weeks. We had been counting six weeks 4 days on Friday, but I am told at this early stage it is easy for them to be off by a little, so I am not too worried about a few days difference.
The best part was that (while doing an internal ultrasound) they were able to point out pudding's heartbeat! It was amazing. It was beating at 120 bmp.
So I guess there are some things worth all this morning sickness for.
Monday, 23 April 2007
Friday, 20 April 2007
My cuppa addiction
My Philippine born husband often used to roll his eyes in exasperation at the amount of tea that I, as a (British heritage) Australian, would drink. As soon as we started TTC I switched to decaf tea – which suited me fine, wasn’t quite as strong and not as delicious, but I was happy nonetheless.
Now the thought of a cup of tea makes me fell completely ill.
What is the world coming to?!
Now the thought of a cup of tea makes me fell completely ill.
What is the world coming to?!
Thursday, 19 April 2007
Vicious cycle
Sorry to everyone who is not in the mood to hear one of the many whinges of a pregnant woman, but I just can't keep it in any longer!
I really hope my husband and family like 'pudding' - because I seriously can not see myself doing this again - ever! I don't care how darn cute the kid is.
I feel terrible. The only time I do not feel like I about about to throw up (although I haven't actually thrown up at all, just feel horribly close to doing so at all times) is when I have eaten recently.
And so I eat (or else I forget to and then have to force myself to eat something which, when nauseous is easier said than done), I eat and eat all day. I have also quit the gym, I was too tired. And so I eat, and eat, and sleep.
And then I feel depressed because all the books tell me I should not have put on weight yet; I haven't weighed myself but I am sure (judging from the way my pants fit me) that I have put on at least 3 kilos already. My family deny I look fat but I guess it is easy to hide on my six foot tall frame - lots of sneaky places to put it.
And so I go on eating and feeling depressed, the alternative sick feeling is worse (I think).
I really hope my husband and family like 'pudding' - because I seriously can not see myself doing this again - ever! I don't care how darn cute the kid is.
I feel terrible. The only time I do not feel like I about about to throw up (although I haven't actually thrown up at all, just feel horribly close to doing so at all times) is when I have eaten recently.
And so I eat (or else I forget to and then have to force myself to eat something which, when nauseous is easier said than done), I eat and eat all day. I have also quit the gym, I was too tired. And so I eat, and eat, and sleep.
And then I feel depressed because all the books tell me I should not have put on weight yet; I haven't weighed myself but I am sure (judging from the way my pants fit me) that I have put on at least 3 kilos already. My family deny I look fat but I guess it is easy to hide on my six foot tall frame - lots of sneaky places to put it.
And so I go on eating and feeling depressed, the alternative sick feeling is worse (I think).
Tuesday, 17 April 2007
Potty talk
Warning: anyone who does not want to read about my bowel movements I suggest you stop reading this.
Ok, so I panicked a little yesterday – the power of suggestion is very strong for me! I decided to do a little research on the internet on what lower abdominal pain during pregnancy could be caused by (note to self: you are better left in the dark – do not undertake own research on medical conditions in the future.).
After being able to cross off most major threats that it could have been (for example miscarriage is most often accompanied by bleeding before the pain), I was left with one major threat and several minor things which would not even warrant a visit to the doctor (e.g. constipation , ligament growing pains, etc). The major one which I was worried about was ectopic pregnancy.
I read through all the symptoms and the treatments as well as potential complications. While I was not is a high risk category but I had all the symptoms (including feeling faint, but I have low blood pressure anyway and the office air conditioning had failed yesterday so, looking back, that was probably not related).
I panicked so much (please bear in mind that I had been reading about the mortality rate form when the tube bursts and all kinds of horror stories) so I left work 3 hours early and booked in to my local clinic (which incidentally I have only been to once before since I prefer the GP near my Mum which is an hour away).
After waiting an hour and a half (can you believe they still charge you $50 to see the doctor when they have kept you waiting that long past your appointment time!) I finally saw the doctor who pocked and prodded me a bit before announcing that it could be any number of things and I should monitor it over the next 48 hours.
Thanks for those pearls of wisdom there, doctor – so glad I waited all that time when I could have been resting at home on the couch in front of some juicy daytime soaps!
The only comforting thing he could manage to say was that if it was ectopic pregnancy he ‘thinks’ I might be in a lot more pain than I was. I called my husband and then Mum (in future I really should do it the other way around as my husband calmed me down, but speaking to my Mum stressed me out because she is also a panicker by nature) and then sat in front of the television for a few hours.
I remembered my less than usual bowel movements I had been complaining about that morning, so decided to test the constipation causing pain theory and try for another movement. Low and behold, once I had been to the bathroom again, I felt SO much better – no nagging pain at all. It did return again after I ate dinner, but I am hoping that it is just the need to number two again!
It is so much better today – I can notice a little pain when I think about it, but I probably would never have noticed it if it hadn’t have been for yesterday’s stronger pain.
Ok, so I panicked a little yesterday – the power of suggestion is very strong for me! I decided to do a little research on the internet on what lower abdominal pain during pregnancy could be caused by (note to self: you are better left in the dark – do not undertake own research on medical conditions in the future.).
After being able to cross off most major threats that it could have been (for example miscarriage is most often accompanied by bleeding before the pain), I was left with one major threat and several minor things which would not even warrant a visit to the doctor (e.g. constipation , ligament growing pains, etc). The major one which I was worried about was ectopic pregnancy.
I read through all the symptoms and the treatments as well as potential complications. While I was not is a high risk category but I had all the symptoms (including feeling faint, but I have low blood pressure anyway and the office air conditioning had failed yesterday so, looking back, that was probably not related).
I panicked so much (please bear in mind that I had been reading about the mortality rate form when the tube bursts and all kinds of horror stories) so I left work 3 hours early and booked in to my local clinic (which incidentally I have only been to once before since I prefer the GP near my Mum which is an hour away).
After waiting an hour and a half (can you believe they still charge you $50 to see the doctor when they have kept you waiting that long past your appointment time!) I finally saw the doctor who pocked and prodded me a bit before announcing that it could be any number of things and I should monitor it over the next 48 hours.
Thanks for those pearls of wisdom there, doctor – so glad I waited all that time when I could have been resting at home on the couch in front of some juicy daytime soaps!
The only comforting thing he could manage to say was that if it was ectopic pregnancy he ‘thinks’ I might be in a lot more pain than I was. I called my husband and then Mum (in future I really should do it the other way around as my husband calmed me down, but speaking to my Mum stressed me out because she is also a panicker by nature) and then sat in front of the television for a few hours.
I remembered my less than usual bowel movements I had been complaining about that morning, so decided to test the constipation causing pain theory and try for another movement. Low and behold, once I had been to the bathroom again, I felt SO much better – no nagging pain at all. It did return again after I ate dinner, but I am hoping that it is just the need to number two again!
It is so much better today – I can notice a little pain when I think about it, but I probably would never have noticed it if it hadn’t have been for yesterday’s stronger pain.
Monday, 16 April 2007
Worry
Although my emotions have been roller-coasting a lot of late, one thing has not changed: worry.
I really want to relax and enjoy this experience, but I am so worried by every little pain that I am robbing myself of the enjoyment.
I have not have my first real doctor visit yet, I am scheduled for the GP on Wednesday who will take me though hospital options and book me in for an ultrasound. I can't wait for the ultrasound, until then, I can't rest easy.
Late night I woke up experiencing a rather sharp paid in my lower abdominal on the left side. It was mild though and I probably wouldn't have even noticed ti if I wasn't pregnant (and thus worried).
I still have a little nagging pain there now but I can't decide if it is all in my head or not! Worry, worry, worry.
In other news, by normally flat stomach has decided that gas and constipation have made it impossible to be flat any longer. I had to go out on my lunch break and buy some maternity pants for work. I don't really need maternity ones, just going up a size would have been fine, but I figure that these ones will stick around for the long haul if they are maternity style.
I really want to relax and enjoy this experience, but I am so worried by every little pain that I am robbing myself of the enjoyment.
I have not have my first real doctor visit yet, I am scheduled for the GP on Wednesday who will take me though hospital options and book me in for an ultrasound. I can't wait for the ultrasound, until then, I can't rest easy.
Late night I woke up experiencing a rather sharp paid in my lower abdominal on the left side. It was mild though and I probably wouldn't have even noticed ti if I wasn't pregnant (and thus worried).
I still have a little nagging pain there now but I can't decide if it is all in my head or not! Worry, worry, worry.
In other news, by normally flat stomach has decided that gas and constipation have made it impossible to be flat any longer. I had to go out on my lunch break and buy some maternity pants for work. I don't really need maternity ones, just going up a size would have been fine, but I figure that these ones will stick around for the long haul if they are maternity style.
Wednesday, 11 April 2007
Pudding
I am definitely carrying my husband's child; I have started craving Kentucky Fried Chicken of all things! I would usually go a full year without once thinking of KFC, so I can only assume it is my KFC-loving-husband's child's influence on me that has let loose the KFC craving!
Incidentally, I have also developed a little tummy bump. I know it is too early for it to be pregnancy related, but I have a feeling it is related to the sudden KFC cravings and pregnancy induced exhaustion.
All this has led me to name my bump 'pudding' because I think that all the extra pudding over Easter is what has caused it, but I think the name might stick throughout the pregnancy.
Incidentally, I have also developed a little tummy bump. I know it is too early for it to be pregnancy related, but I have a feeling it is related to the sudden KFC cravings and pregnancy induced exhaustion.
All this has led me to name my bump 'pudding' because I think that all the extra pudding over Easter is what has caused it, but I think the name might stick throughout the pregnancy.
Tuesday, 10 April 2007
Anyone say 'mood-swings'?
My poor darling husband; having to put up with me for the 4 day Easter break means that he deserves a medal, truly. I have been horrible to live with, bursting into song and dance one minute (often literally) and all sour and quite rude the next.
Apart from that, these past few weekends we told our closest family about our pregnancy. I was quite excited for the most part. Here is how we told them:
My Mum
Mum got told the boring-est way actually. I told her last weekend straight after the positive doctor test. She was lovely and burst into tears right on cue! She has been dying to tell my siblings all week but I wouldn’t let her because one of my sisters was away for the week and I wanted everyone together.
Mr G’s parents
This was too cute, it was my father-in-law’s (‘papa’s’) birthday last Sunday so we wrapped up a baby themed photo frame and put inside a message that a photo was to be inserted in 8 months. It took him a little while to cotton on, but once he did neither he nor my mother-in-law stopped crying all night! We had been about to go out to dinner and papa had been starving, after hearing our news he announced that he was too excited and couldn’t possibly eat!
The best part was that I had been standing ready to snap photos as soon as they realised and I have a brilliant one taken just as the penny sunk.
Mr G’s sister & brother-in-law
This was the hardest because she is quite a lot older than us and has actually been trying for a baby for about 2 years now. We weren’t sure of the best way to go about it, Mr G thought waiting a few months would be best (but I thought it might be hard on her to know she was left out), his parents thought telling her over Easter when she came to Melbourne to visit would be nice (but I thought that it would be far too hard on her to be told face-to-face and then have to sit through dinner with a smile, I thought her parents should break the news to her over the phone a week before she came to Melbourne so that she would have time to prepare, so that is what we did. She was lovely and called her brother straight away to congratulate us. I am sure it must have been hard on her.
When we had dinner with them on Saturday night she was lovely and made a fuss, but her husband (who is really the one that want’s children, she enjoys her current lifestyle far too much and is only TTCing for his sake) made a couple of comments which gave away his true feelings. ‘You guys don’t waste any time do you!’ ‘At least you know your boys can swim!’
My siblings
I waited until Good Friday when all 3 of my siblings were there and then suggested a family photo and that hubby would take the shot. At the crucial ‘say cheese’ moment he instead called out ‘we’re pregnant!’. Again cue a series of priceless photos as my sisters and brother got sparkly eyes and started hugging me madly and exclaiming how they are going to be an aunty/uncle.
Apart from that, these past few weekends we told our closest family about our pregnancy. I was quite excited for the most part. Here is how we told them:
My Mum
Mum got told the boring-est way actually. I told her last weekend straight after the positive doctor test. She was lovely and burst into tears right on cue! She has been dying to tell my siblings all week but I wouldn’t let her because one of my sisters was away for the week and I wanted everyone together.
Mr G’s parents
This was too cute, it was my father-in-law’s (‘papa’s’) birthday last Sunday so we wrapped up a baby themed photo frame and put inside a message that a photo was to be inserted in 8 months. It took him a little while to cotton on, but once he did neither he nor my mother-in-law stopped crying all night! We had been about to go out to dinner and papa had been starving, after hearing our news he announced that he was too excited and couldn’t possibly eat!
The best part was that I had been standing ready to snap photos as soon as they realised and I have a brilliant one taken just as the penny sunk.
Mr G’s sister & brother-in-law
This was the hardest because she is quite a lot older than us and has actually been trying for a baby for about 2 years now. We weren’t sure of the best way to go about it, Mr G thought waiting a few months would be best (but I thought it might be hard on her to know she was left out), his parents thought telling her over Easter when she came to Melbourne to visit would be nice (but I thought that it would be far too hard on her to be told face-to-face and then have to sit through dinner with a smile, I thought her parents should break the news to her over the phone a week before she came to Melbourne so that she would have time to prepare, so that is what we did. She was lovely and called her brother straight away to congratulate us. I am sure it must have been hard on her.
When we had dinner with them on Saturday night she was lovely and made a fuss, but her husband (who is really the one that want’s children, she enjoys her current lifestyle far too much and is only TTCing for his sake) made a couple of comments which gave away his true feelings. ‘You guys don’t waste any time do you!’ ‘At least you know your boys can swim!’
My siblings
I waited until Good Friday when all 3 of my siblings were there and then suggested a family photo and that hubby would take the shot. At the crucial ‘say cheese’ moment he instead called out ‘we’re pregnant!’. Again cue a series of priceless photos as my sisters and brother got sparkly eyes and started hugging me madly and exclaiming how they are going to be an aunty/uncle.
Thursday, 5 April 2007
Strangnesses I've noticed
Just thought I'd document for future reference some of the things I have noticed in the short week I have known myself to be 'with child':
1. I am so, so sleepy.
2. I have slight soreness and sensitivity in my breasts - but strangely only one has grown and become quite firm while the other is normal (except the montgomery glands which have materialised on both).
3. I need to pee every hour of the day. Luckily not too much at night, but maybe because that is because I am careful not to drink too much liquid after work hours.
4. I check my underwear at each bathroom visit - I am so concerned that the spotting will come back or, worse, this will all be a cruel joke and I will actually get my period late.
5. I have been trying to eat all the daily food requirements, but it is so much harder than you'd think. I am normally quite a health freak anyway, but this is ridiculous!
6. My belly is really itchy - is this a normal experience of pregnancy or something unrelated?
7. I have started to waddle - I know it is way too early for that and I haven't even put on any weight, but I am still acting as though I am full blown pregnant! Plus, I am sticking my belly out - or at least no longer holding it firm.
8. I get quite teary at strange things. Not that abnormal for me, I am not a stranger to a cry at an emotional movie or book, but this is at almost random things.
9. I caress my belly when no one is watching, I just love the though of my baby being in there so much.
10. I think the pregnancy is finally sinking in with us; my husband has started putting his face close to my belly and talking to our little 'baby love'.
1. I am so, so sleepy.
2. I have slight soreness and sensitivity in my breasts - but strangely only one has grown and become quite firm while the other is normal (except the montgomery glands which have materialised on both).
3. I need to pee every hour of the day. Luckily not too much at night, but maybe because that is because I am careful not to drink too much liquid after work hours.
4. I check my underwear at each bathroom visit - I am so concerned that the spotting will come back or, worse, this will all be a cruel joke and I will actually get my period late.
5. I have been trying to eat all the daily food requirements, but it is so much harder than you'd think. I am normally quite a health freak anyway, but this is ridiculous!
6. My belly is really itchy - is this a normal experience of pregnancy or something unrelated?
7. I have started to waddle - I know it is way too early for that and I haven't even put on any weight, but I am still acting as though I am full blown pregnant! Plus, I am sticking my belly out - or at least no longer holding it firm.
8. I get quite teary at strange things. Not that abnormal for me, I am not a stranger to a cry at an emotional movie or book, but this is at almost random things.
9. I caress my belly when no one is watching, I just love the though of my baby being in there so much.
10. I think the pregnancy is finally sinking in with us; my husband has started putting his face close to my belly and talking to our little 'baby love'.
Wednesday, 4 April 2007
Test results
Got the results back on my blood test; it was positive, but still faint. That's why I am hoping for some pregnancy symptoms sometime soon - I need it to be confirmed by my body.
Symptoms so far are limited to tiredness (but then who doesn't like a sleep) and I have almost carved a path between my desk and the bathroom at work. I will not be surprised if the receptionist who I walk by on the way to the bathroom clues in on my state soon.
I guess I will be complaining about other symptoms in short course, but meanwhile I want them to come on so that I 'feel' pregnant.
Symptoms so far are limited to tiredness (but then who doesn't like a sleep) and I have almost carved a path between my desk and the bathroom at work. I will not be surprised if the receptionist who I walk by on the way to the bathroom clues in on my state soon.
I guess I will be complaining about other symptoms in short course, but meanwhile I want them to come on so that I 'feel' pregnant.
Monday, 2 April 2007
Rollercoaster of emotions
Wow! What a weekend! My emotions were in a constant state of motion: up, down, up the whole time.
UP
I knew it was very early to POAS, so I knew that to have any chance of a BFP it would have to be morning pee. So on Saturday morning when I woke & needed the bathroom at 6a.m., I woke my (so-not-a-morning-person-husband) and with shaking hand and trembling fingers undid the package and dipped the stick in!
Two and a half minutes later I realised that I was starting to get a second line (!) so called bleary-eyed hubby who confirmed that he could make out a faint line. He wasn't fully convinced even though the instructions said that if there was the faintest hint of a line, it is still positive.
I was pretty excited and couldn't go back to sleep so spent the whole morning reading What to expect when you're expecting.
DOWN
Saturday was also the wedding of one of my best friends, so we were all dressed up and about to walk out the door when I went to the bathroom and saw some blood. Not a lot of blood, but enough to horrify me.
I spent the whole wedding in and out of the bathroom checking if any more came. Over the whole day only about 1 teaspoon came out, I know it wasn't much but I kept worrying that the next time I went there would be heaps more.
I managed to get a little sleep that night and when we woke, hubby asked if I wanted to see my doctor to put my mind at ease. So were rushed off (as she finished at 12.00 that day) and were stuck in typical Melbourne traffic until my nerves were a wreck!
UP
The doctor told us not to worry, that a positive is a positive but that she would do a blood test and call on Monday. I asked if she would also do a POAS test and, as lovely as she is, agreed. Again her test was faint, but still positive!
I still can't believe it actually happened in the first month of actually trying. I do feel guilty knowing how many women in the world have to go through so much pain just trying to get a positive. But I am trying to turn that emotion into just being grateful, because I think the worst respect I can show to everyone is not being grateful for this gift.
Still waiting on the doctor to call to make me triple positive sometime today.
UP
I knew it was very early to POAS, so I knew that to have any chance of a BFP it would have to be morning pee. So on Saturday morning when I woke & needed the bathroom at 6a.m., I woke my (so-not-a-morning-person-husband) and with shaking hand and trembling fingers undid the package and dipped the stick in!
Two and a half minutes later I realised that I was starting to get a second line (!) so called bleary-eyed hubby who confirmed that he could make out a faint line. He wasn't fully convinced even though the instructions said that if there was the faintest hint of a line, it is still positive.
I was pretty excited and couldn't go back to sleep so spent the whole morning reading What to expect when you're expecting.
DOWN
Saturday was also the wedding of one of my best friends, so we were all dressed up and about to walk out the door when I went to the bathroom and saw some blood. Not a lot of blood, but enough to horrify me.
I spent the whole wedding in and out of the bathroom checking if any more came. Over the whole day only about 1 teaspoon came out, I know it wasn't much but I kept worrying that the next time I went there would be heaps more.
I managed to get a little sleep that night and when we woke, hubby asked if I wanted to see my doctor to put my mind at ease. So were rushed off (as she finished at 12.00 that day) and were stuck in typical Melbourne traffic until my nerves were a wreck!
UP
The doctor told us not to worry, that a positive is a positive but that she would do a blood test and call on Monday. I asked if she would also do a POAS test and, as lovely as she is, agreed. Again her test was faint, but still positive!
I still can't believe it actually happened in the first month of actually trying. I do feel guilty knowing how many women in the world have to go through so much pain just trying to get a positive. But I am trying to turn that emotion into just being grateful, because I think the worst respect I can show to everyone is not being grateful for this gift.
Still waiting on the doctor to call to make me triple positive sometime today.
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